How Do People Feel About Mates?

Where do positive feelings about a romantic or sexual partner come from? This article offers an overview of-and imposes some structure on-the enormous literature on mate evaluation, from initial attraction to long-term relationship settings. First, we differentiate between research that identifies the factors that predict positive evaluation on average (i.e., normative desirability) and research that attempts to document for whom certain factors are more versus less positive (i.e., heterogeneity in desirability). Second, we review the positive biases that tend to dominate the evaluative process, as well as the promising (and sorely needed) new methods in this research space. Third, we cover contemporary perspectives on the mechanisms that explain how evaluations shift and change over the entire relationship arc. Fourth and finally, we discuss how diversifying the samples and perspectives in mate evaluation research will address novel and generative questions about culture, stigma, and socioeconomic status.

How individuals perceive their partner's relationship behaviors when worrying about finances.

What role do financial worries play in close relationship functioning? In this research, we examine how financial worry - negative thoughts and feelings about finances - is associated with perceived relationship behaviors. Participants recalled how their partner acted during a recent disagreement (Study 1, N = 97 couples) or recalled the frequency of positive and negative behaviors enacted by their partner during the previous week (Study 2, N = 99 couples). Feeling more worried about finances was associated with recalling less supportive behavior from one's partner at the disagreement (Study 1) and with perceiving more negative behaviors from one's partner in the last week (Study 2). Truth and Bias Model analyses suggest that part of this link may be attributed to biased perceptions, as the link between financial worry and perceiving more negative behaviors persisted even after controlling for participants' own reported behaviors (i.e., accounting for similarity) and for their partner's own reported behaviors (i.e., accounting for accurate perceptions). In sum, financial worry is linked to how partners notice and interpret a loved one's actions within their relationship.

How Do Invested Partners Become Invested? A Prospective Investigation of Fledgling Relationship Development.

Investment-the feeling that one has put considerable resources into a relationship-is theorized to play a key role in relationship persistence. Yet, the development of investment is not well-understood. We recruited 256 individuals in new dating relationships and surveyed them each week for up to 25 weeks. This design allows us to test underlying theoretical assumptions about how people become invested in new dating partners. Some assumptions, such as the idea that investment increases over time, were confirmed. Other assumptions were not supported: Feelings of investment were quite high after only a few weeks of dating and were not strongly shaped by concrete relationship milestones. Rather, feelings of investment were strongly linked to other subjective indicators of relationship development, such as feeling attached to the partner and believing that the relationship had a good future. We discuss the implications of these findings for existing models of investment.

Half Empty and Half Full? Biased Perceptions of Compassionate Love and Effects of Dyadic Complementarity.

The prevailing theory on relationship judgments for interaction attributes suggests individuals tend to underestimate a romantic partner's expressions of compassionate love and that such underestimation is beneficial for the relationship. Yet, limited research has incorporated dyadic perspectives to assess how biased perceptions are associated with both partners' outcomes. In two daily studies of couples, we used distinct analytical approaches (Truth and Bias Model; Dyadic Response Surface Analysis) to inform perspectives on how biased perceptions are interrelated and predict relationship satisfaction. Consistent with prior research, people demonstrated an underestimation bias. However, there were differential effects of biased perceptions for actors versus partners: Underestimation predicted lower actor satisfaction but generally higher satisfaction for partners. Furthermore, we find evidence for complementarity effects: partners' directional biases were inversely related, and couples were more satisfied when partners had opposing patterns of directional bias. Findings help integrate theoretical perspectives on the adaptive role of biased relationship perceptions.

No Remorse: Sexual Infidelity Is Not Clearly Linked with Relationship Satisfaction or Well-Being in Ashley Madison Users.

Past research on extradyadic relationship experiences (including infidelity) often suffers from restricted sampling and retrospective accounts, which may have given researchers a distorted image of what it is like for people to have affairs. In this research, we shed light on the experiences people have during their affairs with a sample of registered users on Ashley Madison, a website geared toward facilitating infidelity. Our participants completed questionnaires about their primary (e.g., spousal) relationships, as well as personality traits, motivations to seek affairs, and outcomes. Findings from this study challenge widely held notions about infidelity experiences. Analyses revealed that participants were highly satisfied with their affairs and expressed little moral regret. A small subset of participants reported having consensually open relationships with their partners, who knew about their activity on Ashley Madison. In contrast to previous findings, we did not observe low relationship quality (i.e., satisfaction, love, commitment) to be a major driver of affairs and the affairs did not predict decreases in these relationship quality variables over time. That is, among a sample of individuals who proactively sought affairs, their affairs were not primarily motivated by poor dyadic/marital relationships, their affairs did not seem to have a strong negative impact on their relationships, and personal ethics did not play a strong role in people's feelings about their affairs.

Antecedents and consequences of LGBT individuals' perceptions of straight allyship.

People often self-identify as allies to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. This research examined on what basis LGBT individuals perceive others to be allies and documents the consequences of perceived allyship. Studies 1a (n = 40) and 1b (n = 69) collected open-ended descriptions of allyship provided by LGBT participants. Coding of the responses suggested multiple components to being an ally: (a) being nonprejudiced toward the group, (b) taking action against discrimination and inequality, and (c) having humility about one's perspective in discussions about LGBT issues. In Studies 2a (n = 161) and 2b (n = 319, with nationally representative characteristics), an allyship scale was developed and validated for general and specific relational contexts, respectively. Study 2b also showed that LGBT individuals' perceptions of close others' allyship were positively associated with their own well-being and relationship quality with the close other. Study 3, an experiment, demonstrated that nonprejudice and action had an interactive effect on perceived allyship, such that action increased perceived allyship more when prejudice was low (vs. high). Study 4 was a weekly experience study of LGBT participants and an outgroup roommate. Perceiving one's roommate to be a good ally predicted higher self-esteem, greater subjective well-being, and better relationship quality with the roommate, both between and within participants. Furthermore, perceived allyship in 1 week was associated with increases in LGBT individuals' mental health and relationship quality with the roommate the following week. This research advances knowledge about what allyship means to LGBT individuals and identifies intra- and interpersonal benefits of allyship. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved).

Expect and you shall perceive: People who expect better in turn perceive better behaviors from their romantic partners.

People who are happy with their romantic relationships report that their partners are particularly effective at meeting their everyday relational needs. However, the literature invites competing predictions about how people arrive at those evaluations. In pilot research, we validated a scale of concrete, specific relationship behaviors that can be performed by a romantic partner day-to-day. In Study 1, cross-lagged panel models examined how expectations of positive behaviors, perceptions of positive behaviors, and relationship quality predict changes in one another from week to week. People who expected more positive behaviors in turn perceived more positive behaviors from their partners 1 week later. Key effects extended to negative relationship behaviors (Study 2). In Study 3, the same pattern emerged in a dyadic sample, with expected behaviors predicting changes in perceived behaviors independent of the partner's own reports. Truth and bias analyses revealed that people with lower expectations had more negatively biased perceptions of their partners' behaviors, whereas high expectations were associated with better accuracy. We obtained these results in the context of specific, verifiable behaviors reported on over relatively short periods, underscoring how powerfully people's everyday relationship perceptions may be shaped by their more global perceptions. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved).

Mate evaluation theory.

There are two unresolved puzzles in the literature examining how people evaluate mates (i.e., prospective or current romantic/sexual partners). First, compatibility is theoretically crucial, but attempts to explain why certain perceivers are compatible with certain targets have revealed small effects. Second, features of partners (e.g., personality, consensually rated attributes) affect perceivers' evaluations strongly in initial-attraction contexts but weakly in established relationships. Mate Evaluation Theory (MET) addresses these puzzles, beginning with the Social Relations Model postulate that all evaluative constructs (e.g., attraction, relationship satisfaction) consist of target, perceiver, and relationship variance. MET then explains how people draw evaluations from mates' attributes using four information sources: (a) shared evolved mechanisms and cultural scripts (common lens, which produces target variance); (b) individual differences that affect how a perceiver views all targets (perceiver lens, which produces perceiver variance); (c) individual differences that affect how a perceiver views some targets, depending on the targets' features (feature lens, which produces some relationship variance); and (d) narratives about and idiosyncratic reactions to one particular target (target-specific lens, which produces most relationship variance). These two distinct sources of relationship variance (i.e., feature vs. target-specific) address Puzzle #1: Previous attempts to explain compatibility used feature lens information, but relationship variance likely derives primarily from the (understudied) target-specific lens. MET also addresses Puzzle #2 by suggesting that repeated interaction causes the target-specific lens to expand, which reduces perceivers' use of the common lens. We conclude with new predictions and implications at the intersection of the human-mating and person-perception literatures. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved).

Psychological Science in the Wake of COVID-19: Social, Methodological, and Metascientific Considerations.

The COVID-19 pandemic has extensively changed the state of psychological science from what research questions psychologists can ask to which methodologies psychologists can use to investigate them. In this article, we offer a perspective on how to optimize new research in the pandemic's wake. Because this pandemic is inherently a social phenomenon-an event that hinges on human-to-human contact-we focus on socially relevant subfields of psychology. We highlight specific psychological phenomena that have likely shifted as a result of the pandemic and discuss theoretical, methodological, and practical considerations of conducting research on these phenomena. After this discussion, we evaluate metascientific issues that have been amplified by the pandemic. We aim to demonstrate how theoretically grounded views on the COVID-19 pandemic can help make psychological science stronger-not weaker-in its wake.

We're Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships.

Dating is widely thought of as a test phase for romantic relationships, during which new romantic partners carefully evaluate each other for long-term fit. However, this cultural narrative assumes that people are well equipped to reject poorly suited partners. In this article, we argue that humans are biased toward pro-relationship decisions-decisions that favor the initiation, advancement, and maintenance of romantic relationships. We first review evidence for a progression bias in the context of relationship initiation, investment, and breakup decisions. We next consider possible theoretical underpinnings-both evolutionary and cultural-that may explain why getting into a relationship is often easier than getting out of one, and why being in a less desirable relationship is often preferred over being in no relationship at all. We discuss potential boundary conditions that the phenomenon may have, as well as its implications for existing theoretical models of mate selection and relationship development.

Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies.

Given the powerful implications of relationship quality for health and well-being, a central mission of relationship science is explaining why some romantic relationships thrive more than others. This large-scale project used machine learning (i.e., Random Forests) to 1) quantify the extent to which relationship quality is predictable and 2) identify which constructs reliably predict relationship quality. Across 43 dyadic longitudinal datasets from 29 laboratories, the top relationship-specific predictors of relationship quality were perceived-partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived-partner satisfaction, and conflict. The top individual-difference predictors were life satisfaction, negative affect, depression, attachment avoidance, and attachment anxiety. Overall, relationship-specific variables predicted up to 45% of variance at baseline, and up to 18% of variance at the end of each study. Individual differences also performed well (21% and 12%, respectively). Actor-reported variables (i.e., own relationship-specific and individual-difference variables) predicted two to four times more variance than partner-reported variables (i.e., the partner's ratings on those variables). Importantly, individual differences and partner reports had no predictive effects beyond actor-reported relationship-specific variables alone. These findings imply that the sum of all individual differences and partner experiences exert their influence on relationship quality via a person's own relationship-specific experiences, and effects due to moderation by individual differences and moderation by partner-reports may be quite small. Finally, relationship-quality change (i.e., increases or decreases in relationship quality over the course of a study) was largely unpredictable from any combination of self-report variables. This collective effort should guide future models of relationships.

Self-Rated Health and Inflammation: A Test of Depression and Sleep Quality as Mediators.

OBJECTIVE: Despite its simplicity, single-item measures of self-rated health have been associated with mortality independent of objective health conditions. However, little is known about the mechanisms potentially responsible for such associations. This study tested the association between self-rated heath and inflammatory markers as biological pathways, and whether sleep quality and/or depression statistically mediated such links. METHOD: Eighty-six heterosexual married couples completed a standard measure of self-rated health, the Center of Epidemiological Studies-Depression Scale, and the Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index. Participants also had blood drawn for determination of plasma levels of interleukin 6 and high-sensitivity C-reactive protein. The Monte Carlo method was used to construct confidence intervals for mediation analyses. RESULTS: Results indicated that poor self-rated health was associated with higher CRP levels (B = .31, SE = .14, p = .028). Importantly, the Monte Carlo mediational analyses showed that these results were statistically mediated by sleep quality (aXb = 0.10, 95% confidence interval = 0.003 to 0.217) but not depressive symptoms (aXb = 0.03, 95% confidence interval = -0.03 to 0.10). CONCLUSIONS: These results highlight the biological and behavioral mechanisms potentially linking self-rated health to longer-term health outcomes. Such work can inform basic theory in the area as well as intervention approaches that target such pathways.

Pursuing Sex with an Ex: Does It Hinder Breakup Recovery?

The present research used longitudinal methods to test whether pursuing sex with an ex-partner hinders breakup recovery. Participants completed a month-long daily diary immediately following a breakup, as well as a two-month follow-up (Study 1). Daily analyses revealed positive associations between trying to have sex with an ex-partner and emotional attachment to the ex-partner, but not other aspects of breakup recovery, such as distress, intrusive thoughts, or negative affect. Longitudinal changes from day to day, and over 2 months, revealed that pursuing sex with an ex was not a predictor of breakup recovery over time. To address the limitation that Study 1 only assessed attempted sexual pursuits, Study 2 explored associations between pursuit of, and actual engagement in, sexual activities with ex-partners. Results revealed that most sexual pursuits were successful, and success rates were not associated with breakup recovery. Findings challenge common beliefs about potential harm of pursuing sex with an ex.

How interdependent are stay/leave decisions? On staying in the relationship for the sake of the romantic partner.

The decision to end a romantic relationship can have a life-changing impact on the partner as well as the self. Research on close relationships has thus far focused on self-interested reasons why people choose to stay in their relationship versus leave. However, a growing body of research on decision-making and prosociality shows that when people make decisions that impact others, they take those others' feelings and perspectives into consideration. In the present research, we tested the prediction that people make stay/leave decisions prosocially, such that consideration for their romantic partner's feelings can discourage people from ending their relationships. In Study 1, a total of 1,348 participants in romantic relationships were tracked over a 10-week period. Study 2 was a preregistered replication and extension of Study 1, in which 500 participants contemplating a breakup were followed over a 2-month period. Both studies showed that the more dependent people believed their partner was on the relationship, the less likely they were to initiate a breakup. These findings held above and beyond a variety of self-focused variables (e.g., investment model components; Rusbult, Martz, & Agnew, 1998). These results suggest that people can be motivated to stay in relatively unfulfilling relationships for the sake of their romantic partner. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2018 APA, all rights reserved).

Life satisfaction and inflammation in couples: an actor-partner analysis.

Life satisfaction has been linked to lower cardiovascular disease mortality. However, much less is known about the biological mechanisms linking life satisfaction to physical health. In addition, the dyadic context of life satisfaction has not been considered despite increasing evidence that partners influence each other in health-relevant ways. These questions were addressed with 94 married couples who completed measures of life satisfaction and had their blood drawn for determination of interleukin-6 (IL-6) and C-reactive protein (CRP). Actor-partner models showed that higher actor levels of life satisfaction predicted lower levels of IL-6 and CRP (p's < .05), whereas partner levels of life satisfaction did not predict any measure of inflammation. The actor results were not mediated by marital satisfaction or health behaviors. Finally, no actor × partner interactions were significant and these links were not moderated by marital satisfaction. These data highlight inflammation as a potentially important biological mechanism linking actor reports of life satisfaction to lower cardiovascular mortality.

Motivated Use of Numerical Anchors for Judgments Relevant to the Self.

The anchoring effect has been replicated so extensively that it is generally thought to be ubiquitous. However, anchoring has primarily been tested in domains in which people are motivated to reach accurate conclusions rather than biased conclusions. Is the anchoring effect robust even when the anchors are threatening? In three studies, participants made a series of probability judgments about their own futures paired with either optimistic anchors (e.g., "Do you think that the chances that your current relationship will last a lifetime are more or less than 95%?"), pessimistic anchors (e.g., "more or less than 10%?"), or no anchors. A fourth study experimentally manipulated motivation to ignore the anchor with financial incentives. Across studies, anchors that implied high probabilities of unwanted events occurring were ineffective. Together, these studies suggest that anchoring has an important boundary condition: Personally threatening anchors are ignored as a result of motivated reasoning processes.

Is Romantic Desire Predictable? Machine Learning Applied to Initial Romantic Attraction.

Matchmaking companies and theoretical perspectives on close relationships suggest that initial attraction is, to some extent, a product of two people's self-reported traits and preferences. We used machine learning to test how well such measures predict people's overall tendencies to romantically desire other people (actor variance) and to be desired by other people (partner variance), as well as people's desire for specific partners above and beyond actor and partner variance (relationship variance). In two speed-dating studies, romantically unattached individuals completed more than 100 self-report measures about traits and preferences that past researchers have identified as being relevant to mate selection. Each participant met each opposite-sex participant attending a speed-dating event for a 4-min speed date. Random forests models predicted 4% to 18% of actor variance and 7% to 27% of partner variance; crucially, however, they were unable to predict relationship variance using any combination of traits and preferences reported before the dates. These results suggest that compatibility elements of human mating are challenging to predict before two people meet.

Consistency and inconsistency among romantic partners over time.

Theoretical perspectives on mating differentially emphasize whether (and why) romantic partner selection and maintenance processes derive from stable features of individuals (e.g., mate value, mate preferences, relationship aptitude) and their environments (e.g., social homogamy) rather than adventitious, dyad-specific, or unpredictable factors. The current article advances our understanding of this issue by assessing how people's actual romantic partners vary on constructs commonly assessed in evolutionary psychology (Study 1), sociology (Study 2), and close relationships (Study 3). Specifically, we calculated the extent to which the past and present partners of a focal person (i.e., the person who dated all of the partners) cluster on various measures. Study 1 investigated consistency in the observable qualities of the romantic partners, revealing substantial evidence for clustering on coder-rated attributes like attractiveness and masculinity. Study 2 examined qualities self-reported by romantic partners themselves in a demographically diverse sample and found modest evidence for clustering on attributes such as IQ and educational aspirations; however, clustering in this study was largely due to demographic stratification. Study 3 explored target-specific ratings by partners about the focal person and found little evidence for clustering: The ability to elicit high romantic desirability/sexual satisfaction ratings from partners was not a stable individual difference. The variables that affect mating may differ considerably in the extent to which they serve as stable versus unpredictable factors; thus, the fields of evolutionary psychology, sociology, and close relationships may reveal distinct depictions of mating because the constructs and assessment strategies in each differ along this underappreciated dimension. (PsycINFO Database Record

Longing for Ex-Partners out of Fear of Being Single.

This research investigated whether people who fear being single have a more difficult time letting go of ex-partners following a romantic breakup. Data were collected in a cross-sectional study (N = 209, 64% women, Mage = 30 years old) as well as a 1-month daily experience study of individuals who just went through a romantic breakup (N = 117, 44% women, Mage = 27 years old). Findings from both studies revealed that those with stronger fear of being single (Spielmann et al., 2013) reported greater longing for their ex-partners. Pre- to post-breakup analyses revealed that fear of being single increased after a breakup, regardless of who initiated the breakup. Within-day analyses revealed that longing for an ex-partner and attempts to renew the relationship were greater on days with stronger fear of being single. Lagged-day analyses provided support for the conclusion that fear of being single increased longing and renewal attempts over time, but longing and renewal attempts did not influence fear of being single. These findings suggest that fear of being single is a particularly useful construct for understanding the romantic detachment process.