"He's used drugs - he's biased! He's not a drug user - what would he know!": A cross-sectional, online study of drug researchers' experiential knowledge of drug use and disclosure.

Introduction: Despite the recognized value of experiential knowledge, drug use and disclosure of drug use within the drug research community is rarely discussed or studied. Methods: We distributed a cross-sectional online survey using targeted recruitment. Researchers provided information on drug use, disclosure of use (or abstinence) professionally, and their impact via write-in text boxes. We used the general inductive approach to analyze the data. Results: Of the sample (n=669, 43 countries), 52 % were cisgender women, 89 % had post-graduate education, and 79 % worked in academia. Most (86 %) reported lifetime drug use and 47 % past 3-month use. Among 557 researchers who used drugs, 59 % disclosed their use to institutional colleagues, 59 % to colleagues outside their institution, 25 % to research participants, and 11 % in their research/scholarship. Themes included frequency; context; meaning of drug use disclosure personally, professionally, and socially; and how drug use experience and disclosure informs research. Respondents connected their concerns about disclosure in research with issues of social identity, professional risk, and the role of stigma related to lived experience. Some respondents felt that such concerns reinforce a vacuum, noting that the inability to disclose drug use limits research questions and the knowledge base overall. Discussion: Our findings support the dichotomy of thought surrounding the lived experience of drug use: "[They've] used drugs- [they're] biased!" and "[They're] not a drug user-what would [they] know!" Our findings provide an opportunity to reflect upon our positionality and the impact researchers' own drug use may have on the field.