Parental experience at the end-of-life in children with cancer: 'preservation' and 'letting go' in relation to loss.

PURPOSE: For children with incurable cancer death usually is anticipated and preceded by a phase of palliative care. Despite recognition that parents have difficulty adapting to a palliative perspective there is little insight into this process. This study explored, from a parental perspective, the process parents go through when cure is no longer a possibility. PARTICIPANTS AND METHODS: A multicenter study using qualitative research was undertaken during the EoL phase. One-time and repeated open interviews were conducted with 44 parents of 23 children with incurable cancer. RESULTS: Feelings of loss play a prominent role during the EoL phase. Dealing with loss is a process of stepwise relinquishing that becomes manifest in an internal struggle between preservation and letting go. Preservation means that parents try to maintain the child's status quo. Letting go means parents give up their resistance to loss in service of their child's well-being. Although the relative measure of each changes over time, parents have great difficulty making the transition because it implies a change in source of control. A timely completion of this transition positively influences the child's well-being as well as the evaluation of enacted parenthood. CONCLUSION: For parents the essence of the palliative process is not to accept death but to deal with the loss of their child. Although the need to avoid loss and gain control by means of preservation is fully understandable, the study indicated that parents who made the transition to letting go had an increased receptiveness of their child's real situation and needs.

Factors influencing parental readiness to let their child with cancer die.

BACKGROUND: One in four cases of childhood cancer is incurable. In these cases death can usually be anticipated and therefore preceded by a phase of palliative care. For parents, preparing to let their child die is an extraordinarily painful process. Most struggle to preserve their child. This study identified, from a parental perspective, the main factors that influence the transition from preserving life to letting go. PROCEDURE: A multi-centre, qualitative research, study was undertaken during the end-of-life (EoL) phase, comprising single or repeated interviews with 44 parents of 23 children with incurable cancer. RESULTS: We discovered that uncertainty, fragmentation and anxiety underpin the preserving life perspective. A perspective of letting go could be supported by a variety of factors. These included: Certainty that the child cannot be cured, postponed grief, the perception of suffering, the ability to disentangle needs and the ability to parent meaningfully. Hope, creating a peaceful parent-child relationship, and the attitude of professionals, could support movements in either direction. Of these, certainty, and in most cases postponed grief, were pre-conditions for the transition towards letting go. Strategies such as not challenging the parents' suppression of grief, creating certainty about the child's condition and supporting parents in efforts to redefine their parental role, supported progress towards accepting a letting go perspective. CONCLUSIONS: Parents' internal struggle between a preserving frame of mind and one of letting go is influenced by a combination of factors. However, professionals can influence some of these factors in order to facilitate this transition.