The Cost of Avoidance.

ABSTRACT

As child psychiatrists, it is our job to ask questions, and many of us would say we are really good at it. We work with our patients to open up about their experiences, discussing fear, sadness, hope, and joy. By modeling this ability to open up in the office, we help guide children and adolescents through using other skills rather than avoidance. Although avoidance has its place at times, we help show our patients the connection between anxiety and avoidance. This necessity to embrace and challenge fears can be a difficult skill for our patients and also their families. Children bring forward questions that parents may want to avoid, fearing the answer might be more difficult for the child than the rejection of having the question avoided all together. As someone who works with children with chronic illnesses, this avoidance of the question can in fact increase the fear and anxiety of the child or adolescent. When talking to children, often they will express a greater fear than the reality of the situation because they determine that if their parent is avoiding the question, it must be really bad. This same struggle with avoidance can be true for us as child psychiatrists as well. The necessity to take on roles of leadership or run a team often presents itself, but excuses can come up to help us avoid these roles. We might say we are not properly trained, we did not go into medicine to do those responsibilities, or we are too busy. By avoiding these responsibilities, we are setting ourselves up for more frustration. As teams struggle, we have to follow the lead of others without the same clinical knowledge, which may result in additional errors. We must remember to practice what we preach and to identify the cost of avoidance.