RESUMO
Although one of the most prevalent and impactful features of Huntington's disease (HD), little is known about the impact of apathy on HD caregivers, although there is evidence it affects perceptions of distress and burden. Given the importance of the caregivers, we aimed to explore the lived experience of people supporting someone with HD and associated apathy. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with 11 caregivers and analysed using reflective thematic analysis, informed by a phenomenological framework. Five overarching themes were produced: (1) What even is apathy? (2) It makes my life harder: the practical impact of apathy, (3) They haven't forgotten me, but they have forgotten that they ever loved me, (4) I'm grieving for someone who hasn't died yet, and (5) I need a safe space to say what I really feel without fear of judgement. Inter-woven between these themes were complex narratives about the unspoken nature of HD, the invisibility of caregivers who felt trapped and unheard, and the one-sided nature of loving someone with the disease. Findings are discussed in relation to theoretical frameworks of anticipatory grief and ambiguous loss, and situated within the wider literature on caregiving for people with a neurodegenerative condition.