Telling the story: parents' scripts for donor offspring.

ABSTRACT

This study documents experiences of parents who chose to disclose, and intended to disclose to their children, information about the donor involvement, and children's responses when they received this information. Of the 181 parents who responded, 30% (n = 54) gave their children information about their conception (34 families). Couples chose to tell when 'it just seemed right' or when they believed their children could understand their stories. The stories shared concerned the parents' inability to have children together, and the need for spermatozoa and specialist attention, and the families reading a book about donor insemination. There appeared to be an advantage in giving children this information at a young age, at which the information was processed in a factual, non-emotional way. Any questions asked by the children related to practical issues. These parents reported that it gave them opportunities gradually to introduce information as the children's understanding progressed. Of the parents who had not told (n = 127), 77% (n = 98) intended to disclose information in the future. This group gave their child's age and inability to understand as their main reasons for choosing to wait. Some 17% (n = 22) of parents who had not told chose not to disclose. There were no significant differences between the responses of mothers and fathers.