"Comforting, Reassuring, and Hot": A Qualitative Exploration of Engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and (Sado)masochism and Kink from the Perspective of Autistic Adults.

ABSTRACT

Background: There is a lack of research on autistic intimacy; however, a small body of research suggests that bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and (sado)masochism (BDSM)/kink may be appealing to autistic people. We aimed at exploring how engagement in BDSM/kink related to autistic identity, using a phenomenological approach. Methods: We recruited six autistic adults through purposive sampling on social media. All participants took part in a one-to-one spoken interview about their engagement in BDSM/kink and how it related to their sense of identity. Results: We used interpretative phenomenological analysis to analyze the data and found three key themes. Theme 1, "Practicing safe 'sex'" highlighted how the clear communication and explicit focus on consent present in BDSM/kink facilitated a feeling of safety. Theme 2, "So many ways to touch and be touched" was focused on the sensory draw of BDSM/kink, and how it provided exciting ways to explore sensory joy (and sometimes revulsion). Theme 3, "Subverting (neuro)normativity" showed how autistic people can find pleasure in intimate practices that transgress normative expectations. Conclusion: Our findings highlighted the importance of exploring the perceptions of autistic adults in relation to their own intimate practices. Autistic intimacy is an emerging area of research, with very little focus on lived experience. Although engagement in BDSM/kink may appear niche, our findings suggest that there are aspects which are inherently appealing to autistic people. These findings can be used to destigmatize both autistic intimacy and engagement in alternative intimate practices more broadly.

ABSTRACT

Why is this an important issue? Autistic intimacy is an under-explored area, with very little focus on the lived experiences of autistic adults and their preferences. Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and (sado)masochism (BDSM) and kink are alternative intimate practices. There are aspects of BDSM/kink that may appeal to autistic people (e.g., sensory experiences such being restrained during intimacy). However, to date, there is very little research to explore this. What was the purpose of this study? This study aimed at exploring the experiences and motivations of autistic people who engage in BDSM/kink from their own perspectives. What did the researchers do? We conducted online video interviews with six autistic adults. We purposefully recruited a small number of people, choosing to use a method called "interpretative phenomenological analysis" that emphasizes deep explorations of the experiences of a small number of people. This method is particularly suitable for areas where very little research exists. What were the results of the study? We found three key themes Theme 1, "Practicing safe 'sex'" highlighted how the clear communication and explicit focus on consent present in BDSM/kink facilitated a feeling of safety for our participants, who found uncertainty during intimacy stressful. The sense of safety fostered within these interactions also provided the participants with a space to be their authentic selves, and "switch off" from the outside world. Theme 2, "So many ways to touch and be touched" was focused on the sensory lure of BDSM/kink, and how it provided exciting ways to explore sensory joy (and sometimes revulsion) for autistic people. Theme 3, "Subverting (neuro)normativity" showed how autistic people can find pleasure in intimate practices that other people might find unusual. What do these findings add to what was already known? To our knowledge, this is the first study to explore autistic engagement in BDSM/kink from a first-person perspective. Our findings show that some alternative ways of being intimate might attract autistic people, because they provide stability, pathways for sensory exploration, or because they are fun in ways that other people sometimes find unexpected. What are potential weaknesses in the study? We only interviewed a small number of people, and most of them shared similar interests within BDSM/kink. In future, it would be good to find out about the interests of a larger number of autistic people. How will these findings help autistic adults now or in the future? There is very little research exploring autistic intimacy from a validating perspective. Our findings will help to destigmatize autistic intimacy and normalize conversations about things that people might think of as "taboo.".