Reciprocal self-disclosure makes children feel more loved by their parents in the moment: A proof-of-concept experiment.

Feeling loved by one's parents is critical for children's health and well-being. How can such feelings be fostered? A vital feature of loving interactions is reciprocal self-disclosure, where individuals disclose intimate information about themselves. In a proof-of-concept experiment, we examined whether encouraging reciprocal self-disclosure in parent-child dyads would make children feel more loved during the conversation. Participants were 218 children (ages 8-13, 50% girls, 94% Dutch) and one of their parents (ages 28-56, 62% women, 90% Dutch). Parent-child dyads received a list of 14 questions and took turns asking them each other for 9 min. Dyads were assigned randomly to engage in self-disclosure (questions invoking escalated intimacy) or small talk (questions invoking minimal intimacy). Before and after, children reported how loved they felt by their parent during the conversation. Self-disclosure made children feel more loved during the conversation than did small talk. Compared to small talk, self-disclosure did not instigate conversations that were lengthier or more positive; rather, it instigated conversations that were more emotionally charged (reflecting anger, anxiety, and sadness), social (discussing family and friends), reflective (creating insight), and meaningful (addressing deeply personal topics, including the passing of loved ones). The dyad's gender composition did not significantly moderate these effects. Our research suggests that reciprocal self-disclosure can make children feel more loved in the moment, uncovers linguistic signatures of reciprocal self-disclosure, and offers developmental scientists a tool to examine causal effects of reciprocal self-disclosure in parent-child dyads. Future work should examine long-term effects in everyday parent-child interactions. RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS: How can parents make children feel more loved by them in the moment? We theorize that these feelings can be cultivated through reciprocal self-disclosure. In a proof-of-concept experiment, we examined effects of reciprocal self-disclosure versus small talk in 218 parent-child dyads, with children aged 8-13. Self-disclosure (vs. small talk) made children feel more loved during the conversation. Linguistically, self-disclosure instigated conversations that were more emotionally charged, social, reflective, and meaningful. This research provides an experimental method to study self-disclosure in parent-child dyads and suggests that self-disclosure can make children feel more loved in the moment.

Awe Sparks Prosociality in Children.

Rooted in the novel and the mysterious, awe is a common experience in childhood, but research is almost silent with respect to the import of this emotion for children. Awe makes individuals feel small, thereby shifting their attention to the social world. Here, we studied the effects of art-elicited awe on children's prosocial behavior toward an out-group and its unique physiological correlates. In two preregistered studies (Study 1: N = 159, Study 2: N = 353), children between 8 and 13 years old viewed movie clips that elicited awe, joy, or a neutral (control) response. Children who watched the awe-eliciting clip were more likely to spend their time on an effortful task (Study 1) and to donate their experimental earnings (Studies 1 and 2), all toward benefiting refugees. They also exhibited increased respiratory sinus arrhythmia, an index of parasympathetic nervous system activation associated with social engagement. We discuss implications for fostering prosociality by reimagining children's environments to inspire awe at a critical age.

Autistic traits and self-conscious emotions in early childhood.

Self-conscious emotions arise from evaluating the self through the eyes of others. Given that children with autistic traits may experience difficulties with understanding others' minds, they might show less attuned self-conscious emotions. Two-to-five-year-old children's (N = 98, Mage  = 48.54 months, 50% girls, 92% White) self-conscious emotions (guilt, embarrassment, and shame-like avoidance) were observed after children "broke" the experimenter's favorite toy. Data were collected from March 2018 till June 2019. Children with more autistic traits showed less theory of mind (ToM), and more shame-like avoidance, but associations were not mediated by ToM. This provides initial evidence that children with more autistic traits may show disturbances in some but not all self-conscious emotions, which could hinder their social functioning.

Narcissism and Leadership in Children.

Some leaders display high levels of narcissism. Does the link between narcissism levels and leadership exist in childhood? We conducted, to our knowledge, the first study of the relationship between narcissism levels and various aspects of leadership in children (N = 332, ages 7-14 years). We assessed narcissism levels using the Childhood Narcissism Scale and assessed leadership emergence in classrooms using peer nominations. Children then performed a group task in which one child was randomly assigned as leader. We assessed perceived and actual leadership functioning. Children with higher narcissism levels more often emerged as leaders in classrooms. When given a leadership role in the task, children with higher narcissism levels perceived themselves as better leaders, but their actual leadership functioning did not differ significantly from that of other leaders. Specification-curve analyses corroborated these findings. Thus, children with relatively high narcissism levels tend to emerge as leaders, even though they may not excel as leaders.

Climbing up or falling down: Narcissism predicts physiological sensitivity to social status in children and their parents.

Children's narcissism may be rooted in sensitivity to social status (i.e., prominence, respect, and influence in a social group), and this sensitivity might be shared with parents. Testing this idea, a randomized experiment examined how children with high narcissism levels and their parents respond to gains and losses of social status. On a simulated social media platform, children (N = 123, ages 8-13) competed with fictitious peers for status and were randomly assigned to gain or lose status. Unbeknownst to children, parents viewed the course of the task. Children's and parents' affective reactions during the task were measured with facial electromyography, which detects spontaneous facial muscle activity linked to positive affect (i.e., zygomaticus major activity, involved in smiling) and negative affect (i.e., corrugator supercilii activity, involved in frowning). Children with higher narcissism levels showed steeper increases in negative affect during status loss and steeper increases in both positive and negative affect during status gain. Their parents mirrored the steeper increase in positive affect during their child's status gain, but they did not mirror the increase in negative affect. These results suggest that children with high narcissism levels and their parents show intensified affective-motivational responses to children's status-relevant experiences. These responses may be transmitted from one generation to the other (e.g., genetically or through parent-child socialization).

Effort Self-Talk Benefits the Mathematics Performance of Children With Negative Competence Beliefs.

Children with negative competence beliefs often achieve below their potential in school. This randomized field experiment tested whether engaging in positive self-talk may benefit these children's mathematics performance. Participants (N = 212, Grades 4-6, Mage  = 10.6) worked on the first half of a standardized mathematics test, engaged in effort self-talk ("I will do my very best!"), ability self-talk ("I am very good at this!"), or no self-talk, and worked on the second half of the test. Compared to both the conditions, effort self-talk benefited the performance of children holding negative competence beliefs: It severed the association between negative competence beliefs and poor performance. By internally asserting that they will deliver effort, children with negative competence beliefs can optimize their achievement in school.

Are Socially Anxious Children Poor or Advanced Mindreaders?

Why are some children more socially anxious than others? One theory holds that socially anxious children are poor mindreaders, which hampers their social interactions; another that socially anxious children are advanced mindreaders leading to heightened self-consciousness in social situations. To test these theories simultaneously, this study (N = 105, ages 8-12) assessed children's mindreading (accuracy in detecting mental states from the eye region), self-consciousness (indexed as physiological blushing during public performance), and social anxiety levels. Results support both theories, showing a quadratic relation between mindreading and social anxiety. Low mindreading was related to clinical levels of social anxiety. High mindreading was related to subclinical levels of social anxiety through blushing. Our findings suggest two social-cognitive pathways to heightened social anxiety.

Origins of narcissism in children.

Narcissism levels have been increasing among Western youth, and contribute to societal problems such as aggression and violence. The origins of narcissism, however, are not well understood. Here, we report, to our knowledge, the first prospective longitudinal evidence on the origins of narcissism in children. We compared two perspectives: social learning theory (positing that narcissism is cultivated by parental overvaluation) and psychoanalytic theory (positing that narcissism is cultivated by lack of parental warmth). We timed the study in late childhood (ages 7-12), when individual differences in narcissism first emerge. In four 6-mo waves, 565 children and their parents reported child narcissism, child self-esteem, parental overvaluation, and parental warmth. Four-wave cross-lagged panel models were conducted. Results support social learning theory and contradict psychoanalytic theory: Narcissism was predicted by parental overvaluation, not by lack of parental warmth. Thus, children seem to acquire narcissism, in part, by internalizing parents' inflated views of them (e.g., "I am superior to others" and "I am entitled to privileges"). Attesting to the specificity of this finding, self-esteem was predicted by parental warmth, not by parental overvaluation. These findings uncover early socialization experiences that cultivate narcissism, and may inform interventions to curtail narcissistic development at an early age.

How Children Construct Views of Themselves: A Social-Developmental Perspective.

As they grow up, children construct views of themselves and their place in the world, known as their self-concept. This topic has often been addressed by social psychologists (studying how the self-concept is influenced by social contexts) and developmental psychologists (studying how the self-concept changes over time). Yet, relatively little is known about the origins of the self-concept. This article calls for research that bridges social and developmental psychology to illuminate this important issue. Adopting such a social-developmental approach, the current special section shows that children construct their self-concept based on the social relationships they have, the feedback they receive, the social comparisons they make, and the cultural values they endorse. These findings underline the deeply social nature of self-development.

Why Most Children Think Well of Themselves.

This research aimed to examine whether and why children hold favorable self-conceptions (total N = 882 Dutch children, ages 8-12). Surveys (Studies 1-2) showed that children report strongly favorable self-conceptions. For example, when describing themselves on an open-ended measure, children mainly provided positive self-conceptions-about four times more than neutral self-conceptions, and about 11 times more than negative self-conceptions. Experiments (Studies 3-4) demonstrated that children report favorable self-conceptions, in part, to live up to social norms idealizing such self-conceptions, and to avoid seeing or presenting themselves negatively. These findings advance understanding of the developing self-concept and its valence: In middle and late childhood, children's self-conceptions are robustly favorable and influenced by both external (social norms) and internal (self-motives) forces.

When Parents' Praise Inflates, Children's Self-Esteem Deflates.

Western parents often give children overly positive, inflated praise. One perspective holds that inflated praise sets unattainable standards for children, eventually lowering children's self-esteem (self-deflation hypothesis). Another perspective holds that children internalize inflated praise to form narcissistic self-views (self-inflation hypothesis). These perspectives were tested in an observational-longitudinal study (120 parent-child dyads from the Netherlands) in late childhood (ages 7-11), when narcissism and self-esteem first emerge. Supporting the self-deflation hypothesis, parents' inflated praise predicted lower self-esteem in children. Partly supporting the self-inflation hypothesis, parents' inflated praise predicted higher narcissism-but only in children with high self-esteem. Noninflated praise predicted neither self-esteem nor narcissism. Thus, inflated praise may foster the self-views it seeks to prevent.

"If you want to understand something, try to change it": Social-psychological interventions to cultivate resilience.

We argue that social psychology has unique potential for advancing understanding of resilience. An exciting development that illustrates this is the emergence of social-psychological interventions - brief, stealthy, and psychologically precise interventions - that can yield broad and lasting benefits by targeting key resilience mechanisms. Such interventions provide a causal test of resilience mechanisms and bring about positive change in people's lives.

Cognition as the tip of the emotional iceberg: A neuro-evolutionary perspective.

We emphasize the importance of a neuroevolutionary perspective in moving beyond the cognition-emotion dichotomy. Cognitive behavior depends on cortical structures firmly rooted in the emotional brain from which they have evolved. As such, there cannot be cognition without emotion. Endocrine regulation of amygdala connectivity, a neural "switch" between impulsivity and deliberation, further underscores the phylogenetic impossibility of a cognition-emotion dichotomy.

"That's not just beautiful--that's incredibly beautiful!": the adverse impact of inflated praise on children with low self-esteem.

In current Western society, children are often lavished with inflated praise (e.g., "You made an incredibly beautiful drawing!"). Inflated praise is often given in an attempt to raise children's self-esteem. An experiment (Study 1) and naturalistic study (Study 2) found that adults are especially inclined to give inflated praise to children with low self-esteem. This inclination may backfire, however. Inflated praise might convey to children that they should continue to meet very high standards-a message that might discourage children with low self-esteem from taking on challenges. Another experiment (Study 3) found that inflated praise decreases challenge seeking in children with low self-esteem and has the opposite effect on children with high self-esteem. These findings show that inflated praise, although well intended, may cause children with low self-esteem to avoid crucial learning experiences.

Self-perceptions as mechanisms of achievement inequality: evidence across 70 countries.

Children from lower socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds tend to have more negative self-perceptions. More negative self-perceptions are often related to lower academic achievement. Linking these findings, we asked: Do children's self-perceptions help explain socioeconomic disparities in academic achievement around the world? We addressed this question using data from the 2018 Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) survey, including n = 520,729 records of 15-year-old students from 70 countries. We studied five self-perceptions (self-perceived competency, self-efficacy, growth mindset, sense of belonging, and fear of failure) and assessed academic achievement in terms of reading achievement. As predicted, across countries, children's self-perceptions jointly and separately partially mediated the association between socioeconomic status and reading achievement, explaining additional 11% (ΔR2 = 0.105) of the variance in reading achievement. The positive mediation effect of self-perceived competency was more pronounced in countries with higher social mobility, indicating the importance of environments that "afford" the use of beneficial self-perceptions. While the results tentatively suggest self-perceptions, in general, to be an important lever to address inequality, interventions targeting self-perceived competency might be particularly effective in counteracting educational inequalities in countries with higher social mobility.

"You did incredibly well!": teachers' inflated praise can make children from low-SES backgrounds seem less smart (but more hardworking).

Can teachers' inflated praise make children from low socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds seem less smart? We conducted two preregistered experiments to address this question. We used hypothetical scenarios to ensure experimental control. An experiment with primary school teachers (N = 106, ages 21-63) showed that when a child from a low-SES (vs. high-SES) background succeeded in school, teachers attributed this success more to hard work and delivered more inflated praise (e.g., "You did incredibly well!") but less modest praise (e.g., "You did well!"). An experiment with primary school children (N = 63, ages 10-13) showed that when children learned that another child received inflated praise (while an equally performing classmate received modest praise or no praise), they perceived this child as less smart but more hardworking. These studies provide converging evidence that teachers' inflated praise, although well-intentioned, can make children from low-SES backgrounds seem less smart, thereby reinforcing negative stereotypes about these children's academic abilities.

Unequal selves in the classroom: Nature, origins, and consequences of socioeconomic disparities in children's self-views.

Children from low socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds often have more negative self-views than their peers. How are these self-views shaped by teacher-student interactions in the classroom, and what are the consequences of these self-views for achievement inequality? We present a developmental framework addressing these questions by bridging insights from the psychological, educational, and sociological literatures. We show that children from low-SES backgrounds perceive themselves as less intelligent, less able to grow their intelligence, less deserving, and less worthy, independent of their actual abilities and achievements. We demonstrate how negative intellectual stereotypes-expressed through daily interactions with teachers in classrooms, such as teachers' expectations, feedback, and attention-undercut the self-views of children from low-SES backgrounds. We also show how this process can be exacerbated by institutional and cultural values reflecting a belief in meritocracy (e.g., schools that encourage competition, emphasize raw ability, and attribute achievement inequality to intrinsic factors), which are common in countries with high income inequality and rigid between-school tracking. The ensuing more negative self-views introduce psychological barriers that undermine the academic achievement of children from low-SES backgrounds, thereby reinforcing achievement inequality. This represents an enormous loss of potential and perpetuates harm into adulthood. Socioeconomic disparities in self-views can emerge early in life and widen with age, underlining the need for developmental research and timely intervention. We discuss implications for studying the nature, origins, and consequences of socioeconomic disparities in self-views, and for designing interventions to reduce achievement inequality. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved).

"I'm not here to push you:" raising adolescents' treatment engagement via autonomy support.

More than 45% of adolescents with aggressive behavior problems drop out of treatment prematurely. Building on insights from self-determination theory, we examined in three studies whether clinicians can raise adolescents' treatment engagement by supporting their autonomy. In an interview study (Study 1), clinicians (N = 16; 43.8% female; ages 30-57) spontaneously described 12 times more autonomy-supportive than controlling strategies to engage adolescents. In a preregistered experiment (Study 2), clinicians (N = 68; 88.2% female; ages 23-65) were confronted with videos of adolescents displaying resistance. We manipulated the DSM diagnosis of adolescents to indicate either aggressive behavior problems or other problems. We found that, regardless of diagnosis, clinicians used both autonomy-supportive strategies (57.7% of responses) and controlling strategies (39.3%), suggesting that applying autonomy support can be challenging with any adolescent displaying resistance. In an experimental study (Study 3), adolescents (N = 252; 50.0% female; ages 12-17) reported higher therapeutic alliance (d = 0.95, 95% CI [0.80, 1.10]) and treatment engagement (d = 0.77, 95% CI [0.63, 0.91]) after listening to audio-recorded autonomy-supportive versus controlling responses from clinicians, regardless of whether these adolescents had aggressive behavior problems. Overall, this research suggests that clinicians can raise adolescents' treatment engagement through autonomy support.

Parental socialization of guilt and shame in early childhood.

Self-conscious emotions emerge early in human development and they help children navigate social relationships. Little is known about the socialization of self-conscious emotions in early childhood. We theorized that parental mental state language use and warmth would be important for young children's self-conscious emotions and their consequent prosocial behaviors. Ninety-eight children residing in the Netherlands (52% girls) aged 2-5 (M = 48.66 months, SD = 13.50 months) visited the research lab with one parent. First, we observed parental mental state language and warmth. Afterward, children were led to believe that they caused a mishap (i.e., accidentally breaking the experimenter's favorite toy) to evoke their guilt and shame, which we micro-coded. In subsequent tasks, we observed children's helping behaviors toward the experimenter. We found that the combination of frequent parental mental state language and high warmth was associated with children's quicker helping to the previously harmed experimenter across toddlerhood and early childhood. More guilt was related to more helping whereas more shame-like avoidance was related to less helping. Our findings based on the sample of Dutch parents and children suggest that, parental frequent mental state talk, in combination with high warmth, may promote children's ability to repair social relationships and behave prosocially after mishaps.