Perceiving Relationship Success Through a Motivational Lens: A Regulatory Focus Perspective.

The current research examined the hypothesis that the relative importance of growth- and security-related relationship qualities in establishing successful relationships depends on the motivational orientation-regulatory focus (Higgins, 1997)-of the individual. Across four studies, we found that individuals in a promotion focus, whether chronic (Studies 1-2, 4) or temporarily induced (Study 2), prioritized the presence of relationship growth versus security in perceiving relationship success (Studies 1-2), rated their own relationship well-being higher when growth (but not security) qualities were present (Study 3), and experienced heightened relationship well-being when room for growth was manipulated to appear abundant versus limited (Study 4). In contrast, prevention-focused individuals did not place as much emphasis on growth relative to security (Studies 1 and 3) and, when forced to choose, preferred a relationship characterized by security versus growth (Study 2). These findings suggest the value of considering motivational orientations in understanding how relationship success is experienced.

Is it really "all in their heads"? How self-esteem predicts partner responsiveness.

OBJECTIVE: Having a responsive partner is important for the well-being of relationships. Unfortunately, people with low self-esteem (LSEs) perceive their partners to be less responsive than do people with high self-esteem (HSEs). Although the common assumption has been that LSEs' negative partner perceptions are "all in their heads"-a reflection of their negative self-projection-we argue that LSEs' views of lower partner responsiveness are, in fact, warranted. METHOD: Across two studies (NStudy1 = 122 couples, Mage = 22.28, 50% female; NStudy2 = 73 couples, Mage = 19.96, 51% female), we examined LSEs' and HSEs' perceptions of their partners' responsiveness to their negative self-disclosures, comparing them with partners' reports (Study 1) and ratings from objective coders following a negative experience created in the lab (Study 2). RESULTS: Consistent with our hypothesis, partners of LSEs were less responsive than partners of HSEs to disclosers' negative self-disclosures, as rated by disclosers, listeners, and objective observers. Study 3 (N = 99, Mage = 33.19, 54% female) explored possible mechanisms behind these self-esteem differences. CONCLUSIONS: The finding that partners of LSEs (vs. HSEs) are less responsive may contribute to LSEs' poorer relationships.

When Slights Beget Slights: Attachment Anxiety, Subjective Time, and Intrusion of the Relational Past in the Present.

Every close relationship has a history, but how people manage their relational past varies and can have important implications in the present. The current research investigated the role of subjective representation of time: How feeling subjectively close (vs. distant) to a past relational transgression (vs. kind act) predicted "kitchen thinking"-the tendency to bring to mind relational past memories in new, unrelated contexts. We explored the role of attachment anxiety as a predictor of subjective time perception and kitchen thinking. We found support for our hypothesis that when negative memories felt subjectively closer relative to positive memories, people were more likely to kitchen think (Studies 1-3). Kitchen thinking, in turn, predicted negative relationship outcomes (Study 4). Furthermore, people high (vs. low) in attachment anxiety were less likely to perceive the timing of their relational memories adaptively, accounting for more kitchen thinking and in turn, maladaptive relational outcomes.

Can research participants comment authoritatively on the validity of their self-reports of mind wandering and task engagement?

The study of mind wandering rests upon the assumption that people are able to consistently and accurately introspect and report on these sorts of mental experiences. Although there is some initial evidence that people can indeed accurately report on the subjective experience of mind wandering, to date, no work has directly examined people's degree of confidence in their self-reports of mind wandering and the effects that confidence has on the accuracy of such reports. In the present study, participants completed a sustained-attention task during which they intermittently provided assessments of task engagement (i.e., whether they were focused on the task or mind wandering), as well as reports of confidence in the accuracy of their assessments. This study yielded 3 key findings: We found substantial between- and within-subject variability in both (a) reported mind wandering and (b) confidence in mind-wandering reports, and, most critically, (c) we found that the relation of reported mind wandering and task performance varied as a function of confidence. We discuss the implications of these findings in the context of the literature on mind wandering.

Self-regulating the effortful "social dos".

In the current research, we explored differences in the self-regulation of the personal dos (i.e., engaging in active and effortful behaviors that benefit the self) and in the self-regulation of the social dos (engaging in those same effortful behaviors to benefit someone else). In 6 studies, we examined whether the same trait self-control abilities that predict task persistence on personal dos would also predict task persistence on social dos. That is, would the same behavior, such as persisting through a tedious and attentionally demanding task, show different associations with trait self-control when it is framed as benefitting the self versus someone else? In Studies 1-3, we directly compared the personal and social dos and found that trait self-control predicted self-reported and behavioral personal dos but not social dos, even when the behaviors were identical and when the incentives were matched. Instead, trait agreeableness--a trait linked to successful self-regulation within the social domain--predicted the social dos. Trait self-control did not predict the social dos even when task difficulty increased (Study 4), but it did predict the social don'ts, consistent with past research (Studies 5-6). The current studies provide support for the importance of distinguishing different domains of self-regulated behaviors and suggest that social dos can be successfully performed through routes other than traditional self-control abilities.