Being Responsive and Self-Determined When it Comes to Sex: How and Why Sexual Motivation is Associated with Satisfaction and Desire in Romantic Relationships.

Couples experience greater satisfaction and desire when they are motivated to meet each other's sexual needs (sexual communal strength); however, doing so at the expense of one's own sexual needs (unmitigated sexual communion) can detract from satisfaction and desire. Self-determination theory suggests engaging in sex for pleasure and value (autonomous reasons) versus out of pressure and obligation (controlled reasons) may account for these differences. Across two dyadic studies, one cross-sectional (N = 103 couples) and one longitudinal (N = 147 couples), people higher in sexual communal strength had sex for more autonomous and less controlled reasons, and in turn, reported greater satisfaction and desire, overall, in daily life, and over time. In contrast, people higher in unmitigated sexual communion endorsed more controlled reasons for engaging in sex, and in turn reported lower satisfaction. Partners of people higher in sexual communal strength reported less controlled reasons for engaging in sex, and in turn, both partners felt more satisfied, whereas partners of people high in unmitigated sexual communion endorsed more controlled reasons and reported lower satisfaction. This research furthers our understanding of when and why being motivated to be responsive to a partner's sexual needs enhances or detracts from sexual and relationship quality.

Women and Men are the Barometers of Relationships: Testing the Predictive Power of Women's and Men's Relationship Satisfaction.

There is a longstanding belief in relationship science and popular opinion that women are the barometers in mixed-gender relationships such that their perceptions about the partnership carry more weight than men's in predicting future relationship satisfaction, but this idea has yet to be rigorously tested. We analyze data from two studies to test within-person links between men's and women's relationship satisfaction on their own and their partner's next-day and next-year satisfaction. Study 1 combined nine daily diary datasets from Canada and the United States with 901 mixed-gender couples who provided 29,541 daily reports of relationship satisfaction. Study 2 analyzed five annual waves of data from the German Family Panel (pairfam) that surveyed 3,405 mixed-gender couples who provided 21,115 relationship satisfaction reports. Latent curve models with structured residuals (LCM-SR) revealed that in both studies, men's and women's relationship satisfaction significantly predicted their own and their partner's relationship satisfaction, with no gender differences in the magnitude of these effects. Results underscore the interdependence of romantic partners' satisfaction and indicate that both men and women jointly shape romantic relationship satisfaction.

Dialing up desire and dampening disinterest: regulating sexual desire in the bedroom and sexual and relationship well-being.

Romantic partners often regulate their emotions and affection to achieve certain goals, but research has yet to explore how partners regulate their expression of sexual desire during sex and its implications for couples' well-being. In two multi-part dyadic diary studies of primarily mixed-gender couples in longer-term relationships residing in North America, we examined three questions. First, is amplifying desire and suppressing disinterest during sex associated with both partners' daily sexual and relationship satisfaction? Second, do these associations differ by level of sexual desire and gender? Third, tested in our second sample, can these associations be explained by feelings of sexual inauthenticity? Across both samples (Ntotal = 225 couples, 450 participants), amplifying desire was associated with lower sexual satisfaction, while suppressing disinterest was not associated with daily satisfaction. Importantly, sexual desire played a role in the links between desire regulation during sex and satisfaction: on days when people were low in sexual desire, amplification was associated with both partners' lower sexual satisfaction, while suppression was associated with a partner's higher relationship satisfaction. In addition, amplification (on low desire days) and suppression (regardless of desire level) were associated with lower sexual authenticity which, in turn, was linked to lower relationship satisfaction. The findings suggest that desire regulation during sex plays an important role in couples' daily sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction-in part because it feels sexually inauthentic-with the implications of this regulation being particularly strong when people feel low sexual desire.

Planning date nights that promote closeness: The roles of relationship goals and self-expansion.

Spending time with a romantic partner by going on dates is important for promoting closeness in established relationships; however, not all date nights are created equally, and some people might be more adept at planning dates that promote closeness. Drawing from the self-expansion model and relationship goals literature, we predicted that people higher (vs. lower) in approach relationship goals would be more likely to plan dates that are more exciting and, in turn, experience more self-expansion from the date and increased closeness with the partner. In Study 1, people in intimate relationships planned a date to initiate with their partners and forecasted the expected level of self-expansion and closeness from engaging in the date. In Study 2, a similar design was employed, but we also followed up with participants 1 week later to ask about the experience of engaging in their planned dates (e.g., self-expansion, closeness from the date). Taken together, the results suggest that people with higher (vs. lower) approach relationship goals derive more closeness from their dates, in part, because of their greater aptitude for planning dates that are more exciting and promote self-expansion.

Growing desire or growing apart? Consequences of personal self-expansion for romantic passion.

Romantic passion represents one of the most fragile and elusive elements of relationship quality but one that is increasingly valued and tied to relationship and individual well-being. We provide the first examination of whether experiencing personal self-expansion-positive self-change and personal growth without a romantic partner-is a critical predictor of passion. Previous research has almost exclusively examined the consequences of couples' sharing novel experiences (i.e., relational self-expansion) on romantic relationships. Instead, the consequences of personal self-expansion for romantic relationships remain largely unexamined even though most positive self-growth may occur without a romantic partner (e.g., at work). We investigated the consequences of personal self-expansion for passion in three studies including two 21-day experience sampling studies of community couples and a study in a context likely to elicit heightened personal self-expansion: during job relocation. Within-person increases in daily personal self-expansion were associated with greater passion through greater positive emotions (Studies 1 and 2). In contrast, high between-person levels of personal self-expansion were associated with lower passion through lower levels of intimacy, suggesting that individuals may drift apart from their partners with more chronic personal self-expansion (Studies 1, 2, and 3). That is, consistently growing outside of the relationship in ways that are not shared with a romantic partner may reduce feelings of closeness and connection, and ultimately passion. Results also suggest that chronic personal self-expansion may be a double-edged sword for individual well-being, simultaneously associated with lower passion, but greater fulfillment of competence needs. Results controlled for relational self-expansion and time together. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2021 APA, all rights reserved).

Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies.

Given the powerful implications of relationship quality for health and well-being, a central mission of relationship science is explaining why some romantic relationships thrive more than others. This large-scale project used machine learning (i.e., Random Forests) to 1) quantify the extent to which relationship quality is predictable and 2) identify which constructs reliably predict relationship quality. Across 43 dyadic longitudinal datasets from 29 laboratories, the top relationship-specific predictors of relationship quality were perceived-partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived-partner satisfaction, and conflict. The top individual-difference predictors were life satisfaction, negative affect, depression, attachment avoidance, and attachment anxiety. Overall, relationship-specific variables predicted up to 45% of variance at baseline, and up to 18% of variance at the end of each study. Individual differences also performed well (21% and 12%, respectively). Actor-reported variables (i.e., own relationship-specific and individual-difference variables) predicted two to four times more variance than partner-reported variables (i.e., the partner's ratings on those variables). Importantly, individual differences and partner reports had no predictive effects beyond actor-reported relationship-specific variables alone. These findings imply that the sum of all individual differences and partner experiences exert their influence on relationship quality via a person's own relationship-specific experiences, and effects due to moderation by individual differences and moderation by partner-reports may be quite small. Finally, relationship-quality change (i.e., increases or decreases in relationship quality over the course of a study) was largely unpredictable from any combination of self-report variables. This collective effort should guide future models of relationships.

Broadening your horizons: Self-expanding activities promote desire and satisfaction in established romantic relationships.

In the early stages of romantic relationships, sexual desire is often intense, but over time, as partners get to know each other, desire tends to decline. Low sexual desire has negative implications for relationship satisfaction and maintenance. Self-expansion theory suggests that engaging in novel activities with a long-term romantic partner can reignite feelings of passion from the early stages of a relationship. Across 3 studies using dyadic, daily experience, longitudinal, and experimental methods, we find evidence for our central prediction that engaging in self-expanding activities with a partner is associated with higher sexual desire. In turn, we found that higher desire fueled by self-expansion is associated with greater relationship satisfaction. Self-expansion, through sexual desire, is also associated with an increased likelihood that couples will engage in sex, and when they do engage in sex, they feel more satisfied with their sexual experiences. We also demonstrate that the benefits of self-expansion for relationship satisfaction are sustained over time, and that the effects cannot be attributed solely to increases in positive affect, time spent interacting with the partner or closeness during the activity. Implications for self-expansion theory and sexual desire maintenance in relationships are discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2019 APA, all rights reserved).

Finding meaning in a traumatic loss: a families approach.

Meaning-making, like much of coping research, has been conceptualized and assessed as an individual-centered phenomenon. On the premise that most traumas affect families as a whole, we assessed the extent to which meanings following a traumatic loss were congruent within families. Qualitative and quantitative data from family members coping with the loss of a family member in a mine explosion indicated moderate family congruence in meanings and global well-being. Furthermore, greater family similarity in meaning was associated with less depressive affect in individuals (pseudo R(2) = .063), but was not associated with individual differences in well-being. The research highlights the important role that families play in coping with trauma.